Random


General and Ramblings and Random September 8th, 2007 by HMTKSteve

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, somebody had to come up with this, you know you're from California if:

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.!

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one

received via email, no idea who made the list

General and Random and Stories July 20th, 2007 by Whitdjinn

It was a cool brisk fall evening when Joe happened upon the events that would change his life forever.

He had gone for a bite to eat after school that afternoon. Pizza, his usual choice, sausage and mushrooms. He had gotten 3 slices and finished them all, along with a large soda.
He carried his thin, wary form out the door of Mario's Pizzeria and onto the sidewalk running along Downtown. A quick breeze stirred the dirty blond hair that hadn't been cut in months. Stuffing his hands into the leather jacket he had gotten the previous Christmas, he held it closer to block out the wind that continued to blow around him.

Joe's mind began to wander the same way his feet were wandering - not along their normal route. Don't misunderstand - Joe's mind carried him off often, as with any teenage mind, but this time it wasn't the standard sports and girls or late assignments that drew his attention from the damp sidewalk in front of him. Something that Mrs. Underwood had said today during History class had sparked his interest to the point that he couldn't keep it from intruding on every class for the rest of the day.

"The only limits you need to observe, are the limits you place on yourself."

She had been talking about one of Ben Franklin's inventions innovating life at the time, but the comment instantly struck Joe as something to pay attention to. He had been limiting himself quite a bit lately. In Math he had purposely answered a few test questions wrong in order to prevent his sixth perfect test in a row; in Gym he had to slow his speed so that he wouldn't outrun Coach Bailey. Ever since starting at Carter High School he had been doing that more and more. His ability to do so well only served to make him feel more alone, further from the few friends he did have. He was still doing better than he ever had before, things were just so clear lately. He looked at a hard math problem, or at another hurdle on the track around the football field and it just ... made sense.

Joe finally found his way home, and as he was turning the doorknob to go inside when a bright flash of light drew his attention behind him. It was far off in the distance but he couldn't take his eyes off of it.

Another bright flash! This one was further away still. Joe couldn't explain it at all, but each time it would flash, his body would pulse in time with it. Three, four, five flashes later and he convulsed with each of them. One final flash brightened up the night sky and making it day again. Joe's body shook violently and he could feel the blood flow through each tiny vein as it pulsed along with the light. Suddenly, everything went black!

Joe lifted his head from the wooden slats of the porch floor to his family's house. It was still dark out. He looked hard into the darkness to spot the light he seen only moments ago. Or was it hours? he checked his watch and it showed 9:15 PM. That sounded right to him, fifteen minutes until curfew. That should be just enough time.

His legs moved almost on their own after that. He willed himself towards the small wood where the light had come from. The pounding of his blood through veins and arteries had subsided, at least for now. He felt mostly normal except for the increasingly heavy breathing from running. Closer and closer he came to the spot where he assumed the light had come from. As he ran the images of the light from earlier replayed in his mind. The picture in his head was so crisp, so clear, so real. He saw himself looking at the light, feeling his body react to the pulsing glow. He stopped the reeling in his mind before getting to the point where the blackout happened.

Joe took of his jacket, the sweat starting to build and becoming a hindrance. The cool night air felt almost cold against his moist skin. As he tossed the jacket aside he heard a noise. That noise should have been a plop on the ground when the jacket hit, but it wasn't. Curious, he looked back to the spot the jacket would have landed.

Small waves radiated from the spot the jacket had fallen into the water. In disbelief he looked around himself and saw that he was standing about a mile straight into the middle of the lake. His mind reeled once again at how this was possible, and how he was standing motionless on top of the water.

And then he wasn't.

I'd like to thank Steve for the opportunity to write for the site. I haven't seen any works of fiction up here previously, so I don't know how well it'll be received. Thought provoking I hope! If you like what you read, and would like to see a continuation of this story, or perhaps a new one altogether, I am starting up a blog: ProdigalKnight. I look forward to hearing your feedback and hope all is going well at the Day Camp this week for Steve!

editor's note: No works of fiction? Check out the story section!

~ Whitdjinn

Random June 21st, 2007 by HMTKSteve

Toilet Spy

I found this image on flickr today while searching for images tagged "Spy". It is from an employee-only men's bathroom in a Berlin office building. I wonder if there is another wall like this in the ladies room?

Ice ToiletThis ice toilet was setup by Microsoft, to promote Windows Vista, in Dundas Square I can't say that I understand how an ice house (and an ice toilet) promote Windows Vista but, I'm sure the ice sculptors don't care!

If you look around the world at toilets you can learn a lot about the people who live there. What some of my younger readers may not realize is that indoor plumbing is a relatively new invention. Not only 100 years ago people were still using slop jars to keep their waste in.

It also was not that long ago that British Columbia exposed the world to their high-tech urinals that hide underground during the daylight hours. Then, when the night crowd shuffles in they arise! What are they, vampyric toilets?

images used under Creative Commons License from flickr users dark mephi and pink hats, red shoes

Ramblings and Random May 30th, 2007 by HMTKSteve

In a fit of jealous rage a two-timing pregnant woman ran over the father of her unborn child, then she backed up and did it again!

Janine Harrington (25) was so obsessed by the belief that her boyfriend, Jeffrey Moore (45) was sleeping around behind her back that she took her live-in boyfriend's Nissan Pathfinder to run him down. She found him, sitting on his bike, in a one-way street. She turned the vehicle down this one-way street (the wrong way), jumped a curb and ran him down. She then backed up and did it again and again!

Relatives of Jeffrey Moore have said that Janine had threatened him before and had even tried to run him down on two prior occasions. "She was very jealous of him," said Moore's sister. "She comes down a one-way street on the sidewalk to murder somebody. This ain't the first time. So she finally succeeded."

"The bike was under the wheel. She got out, pulled the bike out from under the car, backed up and left. He was just lying there looking straight up in the air," said Eric, who withheld his last name.

Cops credit her long time live-in boyfriend with calling the police on her.

She is also being held for possession of a deadly weapon, the SUV!

Source and more information.

Ramblings and Random May 10th, 2007 by HMTKSteve

SawDateline: La Habra California

A man used a circular saw to cut off his mother's head and then turned it on himself and tried to do the same. He failed in trying to cut his own head off but he did kill himself in the proccess.

Police responded to an early morning 911 call for a family dispute. The police entered a locked bedroom where they found the decapatated body of 60 year old Guadalupe Ruiz on a bed.

On another nearby bed they found the body of 32 year old Arthur Ruiz Jr. The circular saw was near him but he had died from injuries sustained to his neck in his failed attempt to remove his own head.

A neighbor said she heard the saw while she was on her morning walk but thought someone was just getting some work done. "If it would have been a gunshot or something, I would have called the police," she remarked.

You know, we often read stories about people using swords to cut off heads and we make Highlander jokes about it. In this case I just can't come up with something funny to say.


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