Ikea – Swedish for ‘crazy kids’
Today I took my family to the Ikea store in New Haven Connecticut. It was my daughter, wife and myself. My wife wanted to go to find some 'storage solutions' for my daughter's messy room and I just wanted to get out of the house. My daughter wanted to go to but her reasons were varied and based on eight-year-old kid logic and thus can not be repeated here in any understandable form of the English language.
The drive down was mostly uneventful until we hit New Haven and started using the "local map" part of the directions. does anyone else have a problem with the way most online mapping sites ignore side streets? At one point we were not sure where we were and looked at the map to find a bunch of unnamed side streets. We could have gotten on I-95 but the Ikea store involves getting on a right side on ramp and exiting a left side exit ramp with both ramps being about a quarter mile apart. Yeah, I didn't feel up to crossing three lanes of traffic.
After parking we went in the store. Let me say right away that the ride was peaceful because my daughter had her DS to occupy her time and thus left us alone to communicate in the front seat.
The first thing my daughter wanted to see was the kid area of the store. On the first floor of the store they have a kid corral and my daughter wanted to check it out. She told us she wanted to go in but she quickly changed her mind after seeing that all of the kids in there were much younger than her.
Up the escalator we went and so went my blood pressure!
There is something about the Ikea store that just makes kids go crazy. I mean serious 'straight-jacket' crazy! My daughter was zooming from display to display touching everything in sight.
"Don't touch that!"
"I'm just looking."
"What, do you have eyes on your hands?"
"Mom! Dad's being mean to me!!!"
That kid was going a mile a minute and she was not the only one.
| Item | Child Reaction |
| Chair | Must sit on it |
| Couch | Must climb and roll on it |
| Cabinet | Must open it |
| Valuable fragile item | Must pick up and run around the store with it shouting, "mommy, mommy, mommy, look at this!!!" |
| Collapsable item | Must collapse item |
| Fake TV or computer | Must interact as if item is real. 50% chance of stating, "I think this thing is broken" |
| Something she wants | Must carry the item all through the store until something else catches interest. The entire time pleading, "if you buy this for me I'll be good! I'll even pick up my room and be nice to daddy." |
We eventually made our way to the kid furniture section and it was not an easy trip. This was the section my daughter was bugging us to get to. When we passed by a 'shortcut' in the kitchen department she about blew a gasket when we refused to take the shortcut.
"Look, the kid section!"
"We're going this way."
"But, but, but..."
"Bye bye! We're going this way."
"Ahhhhhhhh..... Grumble, grumble, grumble..."
After the kid section we went to the in store restaurant area and had some food. My daughter was very perturbed when the mac and cheese on the menu ended up being dropped on her plate with an overly large ice cream scoop like device. I'm not sure what she was expecting but I guess school cafeteria style was not it!
After eating we went downstairs through a few more areas before making it to the warehouse area where you get your stuff (by aisle and bin if you have never been to an Ikea store).
Earlier I had seen this awesome laptop table that was marked as out of stock. Even though it was out of stock I made a point to write down its warehouse location and there were two left. Score one for the old man! The chair I wanted was out of stock even though the tag was not marked as such on the show room floor. That and my wife balked at the idea of paying $69 so I could sit in comfort.
We picked up a tall storage system for my daughter's room and on my way to the next aisle I was almost run down by two young Spanish girls who were barreling my way with a heavily laden shopping cart. I dodged out of the way just in time for them not to kill me. Within about ten seconds I heard their mom going off on them Ricky Ricardo style! Shortly after that i turned to my daughter and said, "those two girls just made you look good today." My wife laughed but I don't think my daughter knew how to take that statement.
We used the overcrowded self-checkout aisles and made our way out of the store and to our car. By the time I got back behind the wheel I was beat tired. That was the most exhausting two hours I have spent in a store in a long time.
Since my daughter now had her DS back in hand we had a nice quiet ride home. At this moment I am typing this story while sitting behind my new laptop stand. I'm sitting on an old chair that hurts my butt. Maybe next time I'll score a new chair.
 
Because I am a father I get to benefit from the holiday known as Father's Day. On this day we honor our fathers. We do this by sending cards and making phone calls. If we live close enough we also drive over and hang out.
