All the guys always ask, "How do I keep my woman happy?"

Sit right down and take some notes because I am going to tell you!

1) Listen - This is the easiest thing you can do and it gives you the biggest benefits. Just listen when she speaks to you. Stop what you are doing (unless stopping would kill or maim you) and pay attention to her and what she is saying.

Woman communicate best through speech and they want to know that what they are saying is not going in one ear and out the other.

Also, no matter how good you are at multi-tasking you need to give her your full attention. Oh, and never act like your not listening and then rattle off, word for word, what she just said back to her.

2) If the trash is three quarters of the way full, empty it.

What can I say, taking out the garbage is still man's work, so do it!

3) Learn to read our body language - If your woman is lying on the coach half asleep don't go giving her sexy eyes expecting a response other than a boot to the head.

When you are busy working on a car and you are focused on getting that head gasket to fit just right we don't bother you. Well, sometimes we do, but you probably deserve it. Learn to read us so you will not when to ask for something is appropriate.

At the same time, if you see us with a bottle of wine and some sexy lingerie it does not mean we want you to go out with the guys. But, if you do decide to go out I'm sure we can always call an ex to come over.

4) We are not your mother - If I need to explain this one you are probably still single.

5) Be yourself - No matter what kind of person you really are be yourself. Let us see all the good and all of the bad. How else will we be able to judge whether or not we want to keep you?

We don't want to find out two years later that you were once an axe murderer! We want to know that now so we can decide if your cooking skills outweigh your killing skills!

If you pretend to be someone you are not you'll only end up disappointing both of us.

You'll be unhappy because you have to keep up the act and we'll be unhappy for wasting our time.